ha! I wrote this last week, and thought I lost it, and was all annoyed... But rejoice, the lost blog is now found again!

saves me writing anything new for another month or so though eh?!

Topical!
- posted by pearly @ 7:20 AM

 
Right.

Here's the score. The only thing you need to know today. The only thing that will have any truth and any meaning until the papers and TV news get bored.

CRICKET IS SHIT.

Yup, that's right, you heard me - a complete waste of everybody's time, energy and breath. It's rubbish. Complete Camel Wad.

So why oh why oh why is everybody so bloody hung up on it right now? Big deal we managed to win. I think even the cricketers have forgotten what they've bloody won. That's the annoying crappy thing about the sorry excuse of a sport. Any game that lasts longer than a day ranks right along side Dungeons And Dragons and those shitty war games as torture.

How thrilling can anything be when it lasts a millenia?! IT CAN'T - Its shit, and so is everybody who encourages it by watching. GET A FUCKING LIFE YOU WEIRDO'S. It's a game for those who have too much money and not enough sense. And no one liked it til last week. I watched, I tried, I really did, for about ten minutes before I found myself drawn to the knife draw... How long does it take to get a run?! REALLY?! Time wasting tits - they all deserve to die horribly.

Now, I may seem a bit harsh, I've said it before, and due to my autistic narrow minded little ways, I'll no doubt say it any more times before I am beaten to a pulp by some weirdo toff with stupid pointless oversized pads on both their legs dressed in white - fuck it.

Sport should be instant, exciting, fast. Football. Theres a foot there's a ball, bam, there you go, goal.

basketball. There's a basket, theres a ball - see, its logical - bam, in it goes.

Horse racing. There's horses....that race - simple, beautiful, straight forward.

And there in lies the whoooole cricket quandry, that being: ITS SHIT GET OVER IT.

Can't wait til there's an English chess champion, that will be hilarious!

Sheep, wasters, time wasters - gotta love the English...
- posted by pearly @ 2:24 AM

 
Afternoon people!

God I'm tired! Its precisely 3:45 pm, I have been at my desk most of the day, and have been hard at work creating masterpieces (see below)




Looks just like me doesn't it? My parents must be so proud!!!

But what is scary is that it DOES look like me. Things have to be a little bad when you start resembling a cartoon - but there is the evidence for all to see...

Bugger.

See, this is the problem. I don't want to work. Not really. And I am blessed with a job which is not very taxing, gives me three months off a year, PAID, and yet I still complain. I am bored. And I'm not the only one. I have friends doing cool jobs, in top shows that people pay good money to go and see - my friends are living their dreams, paying to perform, to act, to sing - yet three weeks into a year long contract and they are ready to kill themselves (but so would I if I were in a musical, but hey, its not my dream right?!)

I reckon if I had nothing to complain about, I'd cease to exist. I'd probably find a corner, crumple up and wate away into a heap of blubber and denim.

I LIKE complaining - I like annoying people, but I wouldn't want to listen to it. People who moan all the time are boring, vacuous wastes of space. You want to tell them to get over themselves with the help of a pistol inserted roughly in the area of their pompous poisonous gullets.

So therein lies the hyprocricy. Hands up, guilty as charged, by exposing myself as a hypocrite surely makes me one of the least hypocritical people I know? To be truly unhypocritical would be virtually impossible. catholics, yeah, be nice to people, love each other - but oh, what's that, you're gay? Fuck off to hell! End poverty, righty ho, what, you want us to give up our invaluable art work and all our worldly riches? Fuck off to hell again... sorry!

This is going off on a tangeant and a half today - see what happens when you get bored?! Still, only half an hour until home time, then the fun begins - I can moan at people on the tube for being cocks, moan at people in the street because they're idiots, moan at people who go about their daily business because, how dare they? and moan about the weather....probably.

So who wants to join me in the pub then, about 5 ish?!
- posted by pearly @ 7:46 AM

 
Howdi kids!

I'm a little ahamed that I have had no time - ok, no inclination to update my online diary for you, the world to enjoy (if that's what can be done with it, who knows?!)

I think the main problem has been that although I'm at work all day, I don't actually do very much at all, and the computer nazi's at the oppression box I fondly call Tower Hamlets College have so kindly lifted the block that stopped me writing blogs, downloading scandinavian lovelies that are clearly too warm for things like clothes and selling my dad on ebay.

And after two years, they have also given me my own extension number. Life is indeed grand! By the time i'm 40, I may even get my own partition... fingers crossed!

So I'm back at work after a Summer of love, sea, sand, ear infections and lots of driving. And I've learnt a few things.

I hate the sun.
I hate Sara Cox on Radio 1
I LOVE Paella
I got fatter
The Edinburgh Festival rocks

I may have learnt other stuff, but I can't remember. So they can't have been important.
That's the thing about getting older, you can't remember anything. Actually, being only 26 isn't that old, so I am despairing quietly, to myself for my old age. But that in itself is quite worrying isn't it? Doesn't having a protracted conversation with ones self consitute as being a bit odd? An early sign of dementia? see, it's these details that keep me awake until Newsnight is on. Its a wonder I get to rock at all, really!

I really worry, I do! At gigs, I'm the first one of all of us to pack up, head home and read the Evening Standard on the tube. I rarely get drunk after gigs, I'm going bald, and I fear that I may soon be drawn to Littlewoods to get my cloth cap, cardy and slippers.

When exactly does this happen to us? When do you wake up and think "I fancy a quiet night in tonight?" whereas the week before you'd go on all night benders, knock back beer, vodka and dregs from cans of Grolsch that have fluffy bits of stuff and ash at the bottom in dodgy seedy clubs after the bar has closed and you don't care where the next drop of boooooze comes from, despite the vomit welling in the pit of your stomach, ready for that sudden movement to unleash itself on the upholstery of the already stained sofas that you've passed out on.

I'm not saying that I'm a hermit or anything, God no, I'm not a freak! I can still mix it with the best of em til 10:30pm - it's just that... I don't know - the very idea of wasting a latvians yearly wage on three pints in a crappy club just doesn't appeal anymore.

So it looks like for the next 15 years or so, until my first midlife crisis, I'm destined to wallow in the hell that is premature old age and looking forward to becoming a miserable old git.

Perfick
- posted by pearly @ 6:53 AM