Drummer Stu's Padded Cell
Saturday, October 02, 2004
I’ve been trying not to write anything about this for a good while, because It’s been debated about to death and I’m not sure if I would be able to add anything (constructive) to it, but fuck it, since when has that ever stopped me?
The other reason is that all of my girlfriend’s family take the absolute opposite view, and I will get into trouble, but a good old ding-dong is in the main healthy…isn’t it?!
So here it is: Fox Hunting.
I’ve tried to think of an intellectual base for my argument, but the whole debate seems to be driven by passion, and there is not one, not ONE justification for fox hunting to be allowed to carry on.
Of course, it’s because I’m a townie, and have a flagrant hatred for people in the country. Must be it. No other reason. My girlfriend and her whole family are inbred infidels and must be killed, have a death wish on all of them.
Of course this argument is deeply flawed (and for the record, I don’t have a death wish on any of them. Though they probably have one on me. I’m a Londoner see!)
Townies don’t understand the countryside, and we shouldn’t interfere with their way of life. Well fine, leave us the fuck alone when we’re trying to nick your Range Rovers, it’s the Townie way.
The countryside alliance will say that fox hunting is pest control, a tradition dating back thousands of years. But is that really a defence? The Vikings raped and pillaged their way through Europe, the death sentence had been around for centuries. Both traditional harmless bits of fun no doubt, but it didn’t make it right did it?
And pest control could more effectively and more humanely be sorted out with a gun. I’m in no dispute that foxes can be a nuisance, but to say that a bunch of aristocrats in stupid costumes riding round on horses with a pack of dogs is pest control is like saying George Bush is really just a bit of a scallywag. Total and utter bollocks. (He is by the way a cunt. An evil, murdering one at that. Thank you.)
I could go on and on… what about the people who would lose their jobs? Who gives a fuck? Nearly everyone involved with hunting is associated with wealth anyway, so no big loss there. And the dog breeders? Fuck them too, because, in my mind, dog breeders are among the lowest of the low anyway. Genetically mutating and inbreeding so they “look nice” resulting in no quality of life for the poor animals because they’ve been messed with so much down the breeding line. Puppy farmers are fucking evil, and I’ll stand by that. So lets hope when they’ve been put out of work, they’ll have time to grow a conscience, think about what they’ve done, then get one of their many guns and kill themselves. Hopefully they’ll just miss one of their vital arteries, but not be able to move, hanging on within an inch of their life for a few hours to experience the true pain they deserve before they gasp for air one last time.
What’s even more laughable is Tony Blaire’s apparent dithering in banning it. Maybe it’s the Tory in him, but doesn’t he see that none of these people are Labour party supporters anyway? Never have been, never will be. Tory through and through. So gives a fuck if they don’t like it? Its not as though he’s going to lose any votes over it is he? My advice to Tony is this: Stop pretending it’s not a class issue. It fucking is. They have too much money, we have none, its sometimes fun to go to the school bullies party to piss in the lemonade then see them get annoyed. It makes the majority of people applaud you because nobody likes them.
These are the upper classes of society who would gladly get rid of a free health service, allow no one who has anything darker than a tan into the country (that’s not fair Stu, who would muck out the stables then?) and would kill anyone who has committed a crime harder than stealing a penny sweet from the corner shop. Just ban it now, because there’s nothing funnier than pissed off toffs.
